


Love and Hate (Isn't It The Same?)

by diosraphael (forfitzsimmons)



Series: Hotel DuMort Chronicles (Saphael) [2]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6384994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forfitzsimmons/pseuds/diosraphael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon takes a leap of faith and asks Raphael a favor. Raphael realizes that it's more than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Hate (Isn't It The Same?)

The fledgling was fidgeting again. Raphael sent Simon a look he completely missed. This fledgling was so exhausting, like he was still half-mortal or something. Simon was sitting crisscross on one of the gold armchairs in the penthouse, shoes off and chewing on a pen he should’ve been writing with while Raphael stood lecturing. The boy was supposed to be learning some vampire history, but he was completely distracted and fidgeting. Raphael hated fidgeting. 

Still, he’d learned recently that he got more out of this one when he was firm, but not unkind. That thought didn’t stop him from stopping in front of the boy and standing in front of him until he noticed. Simon looked up and flinched at their proximity, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling wryly in apology.

“S-sorry, you were saying something about the, um,” Simon checked his notes only to find he had barely written anything, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just pay attention. You’ve been fidgeting all afternoon.” Raphael crossed his arms, urging Simon to tell him what was wrong. The boy seemed to struggle for a moment with what to say. He bit his lip and seemed to make up his mind.

“I—okay this is gonna be kind of a strange request, but, uh,” Simon scratched his head and Raphael resisted huffing from impatience. “Will you watch a movie with me?”

That wasn’t what Raphael was expecting. He had been expecting some kind of complaint or for Simon to whine, not to ask him to watch a movie with him. “Excuse me?”

“Well, you see, I have movies that I watch when I’m down, but I really hate watching movies alone and I tried, but it just makes me feel worse.”

Raphael watched as the boy began to curl in on himself. He knew how hard it was for fledglings to adjust and if this was why the boy was fidgeting and being inattentive, maybe he should just indulge him. Firmness with empathy, Raphael reminded himself.

“If you can manage through the rest of the lesson, then I’ll agree to it.”

Simon’s face lit up in an instant and Raphael was surprised that he felt a bit of pride at putting it there. Shaking that off, Raphael quickly went over what Simon had missed before moving on to the next bit of history. This time, Simon diligently took notes and even asked questions. Raphael recalled Simon saying he had been an accounting student and his renewed diligence made Raphael inclined believe he must’ve had good grades. 

Everything this boy did, it was with the stubbornness of an ox and the attitude of an overexcited puppy and it was making Raphael equally annoyed and impressed every time Simon surprised him. Only, the part of him that was impressed was beginning to outweigh the annoyed one. 

Simon just seemed to possess a natural aptitude for getting under people’s skin one way or another. It reminded him of something his mother had once said, El odio es sólo una forma retorcida de amor, muchacho. Hate is only a twisted form of love, my boy. He had just come home from a fight with some kid who had made fun of him and his mother had scolded him as she patched up his injuries.

Simon didn’t hide his self from anyone and while it was grating at first, when moments like this occurred, one couldn’t help but admire his determination. The boy had barely let on how troubled he had been since he’d come to the DuMort. Raphael knew that he was because he could hear the boy scream at his nightmares and toss in his bed and the nights he didn’t wake up to the boy’s distress he knew it was only because just didn’t sleep at all. He had gone to him more than a few times to soothe him back to a peaceful sleep before slipping back out. Simon never mentioned the nightmares to him and Raphael was beginning to realize that it was more than just a small favor to watch a movie with Simon. It was the beginning of trust. 

When the lesson finally ended, Simon jotted down a few last-minute notes before standing and stretching out. A large grin was plastered on his face that nearly made Raphael smile too.

“So, uh, do you have anything you need to do first or…?” The boy was still unsure, but Raphael was not.

“No. Now is fine.”

“Okay, cool. I don’t see a well-placed outlet up here, so we could watch in my room?”

Raphael nodded his assent and they made their way to Simon’s room. Raphael knew the way fairly well, but he let Simon lead. He talked animatedly about the movies Clary had snuck from his house, none of which Raphael knew, so instead he just let Simon talk and watched his face light up.

“Do you have a favorite movie? Or were movies not invented when you were alive?” He could tell Simon was trying to tease him. He’d already told him how old he was.

Raphael rolled his eyes. “I didn’t have the time to watch flicks. I had to take care of my brothers and mother. Those hours in a cinema could’ve been used helping with dinner or finding a job.”

Simon blinked at him, “You really are from the fifties. No one calls it a ‘flick’ anymore unless you’re talking about chick flicks. And no one calls a movie theater a cinema. Period.”

Raphael rolled his eyes at the jab. “Well, I haven’t exactly been trying to keep up on modern slang. I’ve grown out of most of mine, so it usually isn’t a problem. You can’t really tell a vampire’s age, so I learned to talk like I was hundreds of years old so I would be respected. You think I became Camille’s second by acting like a fledgling?”

“Guess not,” he seemed contemplative and for a moment Raphael really missed his smile. Thankfully it returned before Raphael did anything he’d regret. They had reached the room and Simon held the door for him before heading in himself. “We can sit on the bed and watch. I know I saw an outlet right…. Here!”

Simon grabbed his computer and plugged it in, setting it up and adjusting the screen. He tilted the screen too low for Raphael to sit straight, so he decided to give in and lay down beside the fledgling. Simon inserted a disc and monkeyed with the computer before laying back down, shifting to get comfy. 

The movie was kind of dumb, in Raphael’s opinion. The only interesting thing about it was that it was in space, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret his decision when he looked over to see the enraptured look on Simon’s face. Raphael found that Simon’s expressions were more interesting than the movie and decided to alternate between watching both. 

During tense moments Simon would bite his lip or the tip of his thumb, sad moments would make his eyes bug out slightly, happy moments would make him grin and fist pump. Raphael imagined that Simon had seen this movie numerous times and yet he seemed to react as if it was the first time all over again, like it was still new. By the time the movie was ending though, Simon seemed to be giving in to his tiredness. Raphael wasn’t surprised when we looked over to find Simon sleeping like a baby. He hoped Simon would find himself sleeping peacefully this time. 

He looked at the clock on the laptop to see that the others would probably be up soon. He got up and, with only a moment of pondering, grabbed a blanket out of Simon’s closet and draped it over him, tucking it under his chin. Simon seemed to get more comfortable in his sleep and Raphael couldn’t help a smile.

“Sleep well, Simon.”


End file.
